In this Unfollow series we will look at the pattern God has for conflict resolution and how we can enjoy happier and healthier relationships in our life.
UNFOLLOW SERIES SCRIPTURE
Colossians 3: 12-15 (NLT)
Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tender-hearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.
CONNECTION
Who was your best friend at school, why did you get on so well and are you still in contact?
BIBLE
In the Bible we see a number of incredible men and women of God go through some pretty high profile relationships breakdowns. Such as Adam and Eve with God, Joseph with his brothers, and Jesus is betrayed by Judas
QUESTIONS
1. Why do you think the Bible shows people’s faults?
The Bible does not want to portray everything like social media accounts do, where everything is perfect. Instead, God is happy to reveal real issues in real lives, even those who are strong followers, as it is not to shame or condemn but rather for us to learn from the mistakes of others. As 1 Corinthians says “Now these things happened to them as an example, but they were written down for our instruction”
2. What story in the Bible that reveals a big relationship challenge is the one that challenges you personally the most and why?
Colossians 3: 12-15 (NLT):
12 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.
3. Take a moment to read over this portion and consider a point that the Holy Spirit is highlighting to you. Can you share it with the group? (Leaders notes: some of your group may still be offended by something that happened in the past, it may take time to heal their hearts, but focus on forgiveness is the great release to that pain).
DISCIPLESHIP IN ACTION
4. Is there someone you need to forgive and are there steps you can take to reconcile?
5. How is your “quiet time”? A little bit of prayer, bible reading and personal worship can go a long way to helping us have healthy conflict resolution kingdom skills.
It’s one thing to simply read scripture, but when you interact with it, when you learn to slow down to REALLY read it, suddenly words start popping off the page. By SOAPing your verses, you are able to dig deeper into scripture and “see” more than if you simply read the verses and then went on with your day.
WHAT DOES S.O.A.P. MEAN?
S – The S stands for Scripture- consistently read the bible as little or as much as you like. A great place to start is the New testament, Mathew’s gospel.
O – The O stands for Observation- what do you see in the verses that you’re reading? Who is the audience? Is there a repetition of words? What words stand out to you?
A – The A stands for Application- this is when God’s Word becomes personal. What is God saying to me today? How can I apply what I just read to my own personal life? What changes do I need to make? Is there an action that I need to take?
P – And finally P stands for Prayer. Pray God’s Word back to Him. If He has revealed something to you during this time in His Word, pray about it. Confess if He has revealed some sin or areas to change in your life.
Studying God’s Word like this can take as little or as long as you have time to give. Some days it can take just 10 or 15 minutes, other days longer.
